Remembering The Past of A Brother's Burden
by GraviityReflectedInGlass
Summary: Behind them, another fire of the gun sounds, and the situation begins to finally sink in to him. Why haven't anyone done something about this? Did they hear this? Where on earth are the neighbors?


A/N: Yeah..First time ever writing a L4D fic so bear with it but I think it came out alright. Enjoy~

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><p>His eyes narrow as his mother's head lingers above his right shoulder, a sad look gracing her features. "Please Ethan don't stay outside all day anymore."<p>

_Great_. Why does she have to remind him of his mistake? He has learned his lesson. If he is less competent and more defying, then maybe he will ignore her. But being the good boy he is, he nods slightly, and she smiles like she's never been so happy.

'_Sometimes it looks fake.'_

It always makes the boy feel so guilty. He knows his mother thinks he doesn't understand what's happening with his family, but he understands. That is…Something might happen during a few years.

His father would be saying how he'll never be man enough to face the world when he grows older. Saying how Mother needs to stop keeping him from the world. His mother disagrees with a lot of what his father says, and they argue, and fight, and argue. But hey he would careless since he was only six.

But the small brunette has not seen his father for almost a month now, and his mother cries sometimes.

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><p>Ethan doesn't recognize what seems to grasp at his heart over the weeks that passed, but it hurts and aches so much more. His hand reaches the place where his heart beats strong, and he holds it tight. Emotion, is it? Ethan hates it, because it gripes and always there with his train of thought. He sometimes wonders why he can never show his inner mayhem clearly.<p>

Behind him, he hears his mother chuckle humorlessly, and he only wishes to know how to say he is sorry, because it is _there, _right on the tip of his tongue..

Ethan shakes his head as much as it bites at him, he remembers a voice saying weakness is what makes people _human_.

'_Obviously..' _He thought to himself looking at the time.

It reads 11:43pm on the digital clock on the bedside table, and the moon resembles a Cheshire cat's gleeful smile. But it isn't as domineering, Ethan thinks, because the stars are out, and they glow with the moon brightly.

"Ethan? What on earth are you doing up at this hour?" the familiar voice asks him groggily. The dim light of the sky only lightens the more striking part of her features, like the long tresses of stark blonde hair to the piercing pair of blue-gray eyes. Ethan doesn't say anything, like always, but he quietly climbs into the bed, diving under the covers and curling his body around the warmth.

Finally, he speaks. "I've been thinking, Gemini."

It is always so ironic to see the name fit her so well, because she is like him, only no one, not even his father ever insults her, because father thinks she can make up for all his mistakes in life. Because she is a genius, they always say, because she can do so much. Father wants to push her into success so he will be rich. Gemini, her name, Gemini. She is his sister.

Ethan feels her fingers thread in his hair, pulling and twirling and curling, and he sighs in content. He likes to think that no one else can calm him by this simple act as well as she does, because she's special, and Ethan thinks this with complete and utter passion.

"I've been reading.." he begins, "On inheritance. I don't understand why we look so much more different than mom and…dad as well."

"Really?," she says, shifting her position to lay on her side, so she can see him clearly. "You've been thinking too much again, shorty." He protests at the name slightly looking at her "But don't question it; we're certainly their birth children."

She smiles at him warmly, cupping his chin so he will look at her straight on. "You have Mom's eyes, Ethan."

But this isn't the answer he wants. He frowns, looking at the other side of the room. "Nothing from Dad?"

"What?" she asks, biting her lower lip. "Ethan, why do you want to know so much?"

He curls on her side again and sighs, but Gemini doesn't mind at all. He stares at the moon again, and thinks of what to say, since Ethan has never been one for confessions, or even speaking to a person about anything before.

Ethan trusts Gemini, a lot, because he hardly even trusts himself. Gemini never judges him like everyone else does. She always sits and comforts him, and she listens to him when he speaks. Gemini is the only person he knows enough to care about.

"Because," he starts out quietly, shutting his eyes tight and tries to ignore how his heart aches again. "You are so good at everything you do. You know so much," he trembles. "And.. I want to be.. just like you."

Much to his dismay, she stiffens visibly, and she exhales a breath of…sadness? He doesn't know. Ethan has never experienced anything that can tell him what it is, and books can only tell him so much. "..You don't, Eth." His eyes shot open when they search hers, but she looks away, continuing in a whispered tone. "You can be _so _much better than me."

"No," he insists. "I don't _want _to be better. I only want to be like you."

Gemini narrows her eyes at him, the displeasure appeared in her expression, tone..her eyes.. "Being like someone will only make you different than what you really are." She sighs, looking away to stare at someplace outside the open window. "Being different will only bring you down."

"Dad says I can never live right," he replied deadpans, pulling the covers over his head and disappears underneath the sheets. "So I'll just survive with being different."

She pulls the covers away easily, because he is so much more weaker. Fragile and he hates it. "..Don't you dare listen to that man. You shouldn't throw away your time believing him."

His sister is right, he reluctantly admits, but the confrontation is far from over. "And you, Gem? You let him push you and walk over on you."

"..Because I _have_ to."

Ethan shakes his head this time, intently saying the same thing that his mother makes a point to say to her daily. "You don't have to do anything." And Ethan sees her brows knit angrily, and Gemini- surprisingly childishly enough- refuses to look at him the entire night long, but he knows she isn't mad at him when she doesn't turn away as he nuzzles himself closer to her like a small puppy.

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><p>Eight years has passed.<p>

He goes to school silently like always; sitting alone in a corner, occupying himself with books that he has read and reread too many times to count. He is always bored, because he is easily ten times smarter than any fourteen year old, not that Ethan wants to brag- it is merely a straightforward fact. Hardly anyone ever bothers him, much like he prefers, and the teachers have long since given up on calling for his attention in class, because here, Ethan likes to think that he doesn't exist.

His mother, or even his sister, will always be ready waiting at the schoolyard gate. And he expects them to be there all the time, since it is constant, and a routine.

But when he arrived, he let a slight shock mold into his features momentarily. There was no one at the gate. He sits himself on a bench to watch the children play while he waits, but soon, Ethan thinks he has waited too long. Slowly, his schoolmates left, dwindling the number down to one; himself. As the teachers lock the doors, Ethan sighs and tells himself to leave, it was getting late, and they probably aren't coming.

'_Weird…They always pick me up..'_

He walks back stonily; face a usual pale white as the December breeze blows hard.

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><p>Ethan reaches his home a quarter of an hour later, but the lights aren't switched on inside, so he walks to the backdoor only to let a cold sense of anxiety washed over him when he sees it forced open, the window beside it broken into mere shards. A hundred scenes come to play in his mind. The most logical happens to be the thought of someone breaking the door down, if it had been locked to keep that someone out.<p>

'_Who?'_

He doesn't know. He steps in quietly, flinching as he hears the glass shards grate against the tiled floor. Ethan thinks he feels fear, because he can hear his heart beating loudly in his ears, and he can only hope that his mom and his sister are alright. But then the stench hits him like a ton of bricks. A strong stench that makes him crinkle his nose unwillingly, but he lets himself follow the odor.

A mistake. On the living room floor, a body of a blonde woman lies still, crimson fluids weeping through the numerous wounds that marks her. _Mom? _Her eyes are wide, staring at nothing, mouth open, like she is soundlessly screaming.. _screaming.. _She looks so.. _hurt._ So _dead._

'…'

A wet tear trickles down his cheeks, startling him even more. He's crying, and it shocks him, as he honestly did not think it would hit him that hard.

'_Because everyone dies.'_

But he thought.. he thought..

'_Not today. She wasn't supposed to die today.'_

He didn't want to _feel _this, he didn't want to cry like this, he didn't want to sit and smell and _sense_ this. He felt like puking.

So he did.

He vomited once more, the strong smell of vomit and blood taking over his senses again.

'_Too much blood…'_

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><p>Ethan wants to scream so badly. A hand clamps tightly down on his mouth before he can, and he finds it in himself to panic. His screams are muffled now, barely heard, and Ethan wants so much to be able to fight back, but he is just too…<p>

'_Weak.'_

"Shh," his captor's voice whispers reassuringly, but he doesn't relax immediately, still shocked he doesn't know what cruel person had done that to his mother. _Calm down, _he tries to tell himself when he noticed it was only his sister.

"He might hear you."

A sound click of a gun from above them both startled them, a man peering down the stairs with his pistol pointing straight at him, her, _them, _Ethan freezes. The man is familiar, so recognizable, and he cries a little more, knowing that _he _of all people had done this to his mother, and is going to kill them both.. "Move away, Gemi," the older man tells her. "And I won't have to hurt you."

"Chase," Gemini growls out his name like it was poison to her lips, Ethan watches the interaction, frightened. The man was more paler and his arm was bleeding from some bite around it. He also saw his sister's nail start to grow making him more frightened She holds him tighter, to his surprise and horror, both him and Gemini needed to get out of the situation alive.

"No more 'Daddy', sweetie?" the man hums jeeringly, slowly descending down the stairs with his gun still aimed right at them. "I'm sorry I had to kill Mommy, but she really _was _getting in the way."

_Insane, _that man.

But Gemini bolts straight towards the back door and out with Ethan's wrist in a tight hold, so he is forced to run with her. Behind them, another fire of the gun sounds, and the situation begins to finally sink in to him. Why haven't anyone done something about this? Did they hear this? Where on earth are the neighbors?

He froze when he remembered on the news and everyone at school were talking about a flu pandemic that turned people crazy and kills them.

He notices grimly as they dart past trees, that Gemini's arm is leaking blood profusely down to her hand, successfully making their grip on each other difficult. Ethan's breathing is harsh and tired, but he is not worse like his sister is. Ethan is worried, he admits it finally. He's worried. He's _worried._

_And his mother is _dead.

He confesses he's scared.

_And his father _killed _her._

He'll even come clean.. He loves his mother.

'_Too late. It's Too late. Too late.'_

Gemini grimaces as the cold smacks upon her, Ethan notices, as he wears his navy blue sweater, and she is wearing nothing more than her oversized white pajamas, and she's barefoot even, and it is storming. _Storming, _and his sister isn't his sister anymore, she's _paler _and bleeding _red _on _white._

Devoted? No. Ethan thinks that God hates them both enough to mock them.

He's tired, but it is all he can do to run with her, but Gemini stumbles and leans against a tree as she groans in pain, shakily holding out her right arm and presses two fingers into the wound. She hisses, when her fingers pull away, she's holding a blood-stained silver bullet. And she cries a little.

Ethan doesn't mind, overall she's finally being selfish. He likes to think she realizes that she can't always bring enough shine to help them both, more to him, since his sister has hardly ever cared about herself.

And then in the distance, the revving of a snow mobile alerts them, only getting closer by the second. The younger boy pulls on her unwounded arm grabbing her hand that didn't have her long nails and hurries her. "He's coming. He's coming." He hardly cares that he is repetitive and chanting, because _he _is coming closer, and _they _are still _here!_

"Ethan," she breathes. "No. You go; run!" And Gemini pushes him slightly, to the direction that leads to the local park. "Just hide. And be safe. Dad just wants me to go with him, that's all! He'll leave you alone-"

He cuts her statement rudely, for once in his life. Deciding their situation. Live or die? "I won't leave you, Gemini."

"It wasn't a _choice!_" she seethes, those eyes of hers blazing brightly, like blue fire, but they were changing…Dark gold. She pushes him harder, and she falls forward on her knees, kissing his forehead ever so gently. "Just go. Please."

Ethan cries a little harder. He knows that even if he dies, Gemini will try to run and no one will find him, since Ethan's life never matters to anyone..

'_But Gemini.' _

He takes a few steps back putting his hood on, slightly awed at how his sister's usually peaceful and isolated manner has shattered to.. _this.. _rare emotional being. The mobile was so much more louder now, but he does the most stupid thing he could ever have done.

'_I don't want to just survive...I want to live.'_

He holds his sister, eyes shut tight as he waits for the expected. _Live or die? Live? Die? Live or…_Die.

'_And I can't live knowing you were taken away from me. So, just like this.'_

"I love you, Gemini."

'_I'm being selfish, like always. You should be proud of me.'_

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><p>Suddenly, she pushes him away.<p>

_**BANG!**_

Screams tear the air. Screeches. And blood.

_So much. _So much _blood._

Spattering.

'_NO!'_

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><p>"E-Eth," <em>N-No…You c-can't..<em> "Ethan..."

_Please..._

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><p>It started to get gloomy.<p>

The winter vehicle is crashed into the old, large tree, Chase's skull is split open as his body lies unmoving on the ground and crimson stains the snow _heavily, _dying.. He is _dead. _And between the tree and the winter vehicle, blood begins dripping quietly, calmly, mockingly. _Heavily._ A pale, feminine hand reaching, stopping… _falling.._

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><p>A few feet away, Ethan Retnuh screams.<p>

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><p>AN: Review and Let me know what you think. :)


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